March Program Director’s Message

Six Words You’ll Never Forget: Kids do well if they can.  Everybody wants to do well but often there are things that get in the way. I have never been a believer in extrinsic motivation (positive or negative) with kids. If you give a child a reward for doing something they need to be doing or learning as part of a maturing human, you will eventually have to up your ante to bigger and better rewards as they age. The same holds true for punishments. The punishments will only get harsher as the previous one becomes less effective. Using rewards and punishments as a form of behavior modification may get results in the short term but is not sustainable.

The belief that we can be successful at something is the biggest intrinsic motivator out there. I don’t put my energies into areas where I believe I cannot be successful. I don’t want to waste my time, and I don’t want the psychological pain. I do, however, develop plans for learning new hobbies and skills in avenues where I think I may experience success. I may take a lesson, watch a YouTube video or two, listen to some podcasts and then chart my course. I garner the skills to do well.  

It is no different with our kids. They come to us wanting to do well but often cannot because they lack skills. As engaged and curious tutors, we become detectives, not to necessarily helping them with the homework at hand but instead deciphering which skills are missing so that they can do the homework. Were they absent from the lesson, physically or cognitively?  Do they not know all their vowel sounds? Are they lacking the foundation for base-ten operations? With a little or a lot of digging and some perseverance, we can identify the missing skills and hopefully set them on the right path toward doing well.   

A special thanks for Dr. Stuart Albion and Mel Robbins for reminding me of these truths. To listen to the podcast, click here.